hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
