break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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