I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
