dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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