maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
