shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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