around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
