fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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