you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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