i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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