god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
