I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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