You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
