trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
