bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
