check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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