Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
