smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
