When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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