i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
