Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
