I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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