And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
