last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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