More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
