just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
