perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
