It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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