apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
