You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
