If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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