his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
