Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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