I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
