I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Small penises have feelings too.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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