i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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