he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize