My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
