I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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