I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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