So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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