How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
