I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
