Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
