her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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