did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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