Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
