tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
