if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
