We're facebook friends in real life
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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