I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
