I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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