I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I understand Curling. That high.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
