That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
