It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
